17 Songs
by Nyte Lite
Summary: XemSai 17 drabbles chronicling Xemnas and Saix's relationship, from their first night together to Xemnas's death and afterward.


**Title: **17 Songs

**Summary:** 17 drabbles chronicling Xemnas and Saix's relationship, from the first night they spend together, to Xemnas's death and afterwards.

**Warnings:** Implied sex (lots of it), character death

**Author's Note:** I didn't dwell on the humor so much in this one because I pictured these two characters in a more serious, sometimes rocky, relationship. There is some humor near the beginning but it's mostly just silly fluff. The songs I named were ones that I felt fit the mood of that particular drabble. Listening is recommended. :) Enjoy!

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**1. Glitter In The Air – Pink**

The first time, Saix was unable to do anything other than lay there and trust, and just _**feel **_-not emotions, of course, but the _**sensation.**_

The touch of Xemnas's hands on his body, Xemnas's lips against his own.

The pain before the ecstasy.

The instant of euphoria before the fall.

As his mind slowly floated downwards from the impossible high, Saix let his gaze travel to the window, where Kingdom Hearts was just barely visible behind the curtains. With a barely audible sigh, his eyes fluttered shut and he vaguely wished that he could stay like this forever.

**2. Animal – Neon Trees**

Saix surprised them both by initiating things the second time.

Whether it was spurred on by his general frustration with the world or some whim of the moon, neither really knew. They were both quite sure of one thing, though, and it was that they wanted more than just making out against a wall.

So when Saix hesitated, unsure if his Superior would allow himself to be dominated in such a way, Xemnas flashed a smirk that was half-amused, half-exasperated.

"What are you waiting for?"

And that was that.

**3. Down – Jay Sean**

The third time was all Demyx's fault.

After the Nocturne blatantly _**failed**_ to effectively complete his twentieth mission in a row and continued to make excuses, Saix was about ready to kill off half of the Organization.

Xemnas intervened before he could kick Demyx through a window, but the Diviner was so worked up that his skin was even feverish to the touch.

Fortunately, Xemnas knew the perfect way to work off all that extra aggression.

**4. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry**

The morning after the fourth time, Xemnas woke up without any idea where (and for a minute even who) he was.

Then the headache and the hangover came rushing in, and he found that while he could now recall his name and place, the night before was still rather foggy.

After he and an equally grouchy and hungover Saix managed to piece together exactly how they had ended up in a two-star motel room in some unfamiliar city, they both agreed to never again let themselves become distracted in such a way while on a mission.

**5. Just Dance – Lady Gaga**

The morning after the fifth time, the two of them awoke to find that their previous decision not to drink and/or jump each other during missions had gone straight to hell.

After _**that**_ incident, Xemnas began sending the others on missions with Saix.

It was irritating, being separated for extended periods of time, but much preferable to all the awkward questions they had to face upon returning to the Castle in their condition.

**6. She Wolf – Shakira**

The sixth time happened quite by accident. Xemnas had entered Vexen's lab, intending to simply collect a recon report, when he was met with a very... interesting... sight.

Vexen was nowhere to be found. Saix, however, had Zexion up against the wall and looked about two seconds from brutally murdering everyone in sight, but that wasn't what caught Xemnas's attention. What Xemnas noticed was that Saix's coat now seemed to fight quite a bit tighter across the chest, and that Saix's snarling voice was about an octave higher.

Biting back laughter, Xemnas carefully intervened and got Saix to release poor Zexion, who stammered something about a malfunctioning spell and then scurried out the door when Xemnas coolly suggested he leave.

The moment the Schemer was out the door, Saix was pressed in his place against the wall, and Xemnas proceeded to thoroughly explore every aspect of this malfunction.

**7. Automatic – Tokio Hotel**

Sometimes it was easy to forget that they didn't have emotions.

Other times, like just after the seventh time, it was all too clear.

Saix curled up on the bed that Xemnas had so recently (and quickly) vacated, and sent one baleful, pained glance up at Kingdom Hearts, as if glaring would restore their hearts more quickly and maybe ease the hollow feeling in his chest.

**8. Lullaby For A Stormy Night – Vienna Teng**

The eighth time, Saix was almost unwilling. Though he did a good job of hiding it, he was still upset with Xemnas for abandoning him after the last time. In truth, he had planned to avoid Xemnas until the other sought him out and gave something resembling an apology, but Nature, it seemed, had decided to thwart his plans.

Saix hated thunderstorms. The clouds obscured the moon, the noise prevented him from sleeping, and it was a well-kept secret that Isa, as a young child, had been terrified of storms. Even now, he still jumped a little bit when the thunder rolled and the lightning flashed. That was the reason why he only resisted the minimal amount when he began feeling compelled to go to Xemnas's room and slip into his arms.

Lightning cracked just outside the window, and Saix jumped again. Xemnas pulled him closer and rubbed a comforting hand up and down the Diviner's side. Saix tucked his head under the other man's chin and decided that he forgave Xemnas after all.

**9. My Bloody Valentine – Good Charlotte**

The ninth time, Xemnas was angry.

It seemed that he wasn't the only one who appreciated Saix's beauty and a certain pink-haired man had made the mistake of bringing this to the Superior's attention by unabashedly flirting with the Diviner _**right in front of him**_.

This, paired with Marluxia's obvious ambitions dealing with the Organization, fueled Xemnas's decision to send the Assassin to Castle Oblivion and have Axel deal with him.

And that night, just in case Saix had any doubt that it had to do with him, Xemnas took great care to remind the Diviner that he was the only one who could touch him.

**10. 4Ever – The Veronicas**

The tenth time inexplicably happened after one of Xemnas's Sorcerers reported to him that Demyx had been killed by Sora. He stood on the Altar of Naught, looking blankly up at Kingdom Hearts. Already the Castle seemed darker and duller without the Nocturne's perpetual cheer, annoying as it had been.

He caught a glimpse of blue out of the corner of his eye and turned to look at Saix, who was also contemplating the incomplete Kingdom Hearts. Almost inaudibly, he spoke.

"We're going to die, aren't we, Xemnas?"

Startled partly because Saix almost never called him by name and partly because the Diviner seemed to be losing faith for the first time since joining the Organization, Xemnas reached out and pulled Saix into an embrace.

"No, of course we aren't."

But neither of them really believed it, so he proceeded to take their minds off it in the best way he knew how.

**11. Violet Hill – Coldplay**

Saix barely remembered the eleventh time. Impossible as it seemed, he thought that he may have been in shock from Demyx's death.

He wasn't sure how exactly he had gotten to Xemnas's room. All he remembered was a strange sense of foreboding, and just feeling _**cold.**_

After it was over, he and Xemnas didn't say anything or even look at each other. They just lay side by side without touching.

The cold feeling didn't go away.

**12. Rainbow Veins – Owl City**

Surprisingly, it was Luxord's death that snapped Saix out of his trance-like state and consequently brought on the twelfth time.

Remembering the period between Demyx's death and Luxord's was like looking through an icy fog, and Saix had no wish to return to that. When Saix once again joined Xemnas on the Altar of Naught, the Superior seemed to share his sentiments.

As they lay together afterwards, they looked up at the sky and watched the hearts gathering together into Kingdom Hearts. The light of the enchanted moon created an aurora that shimmered over the two Nobodies like an ethereal blanket.

**13**. **Harder To Breathe – Maroon 5**

The thirteenth time, they had actually planned to just sleep together without any physical lovemaking.

It had been a long time since Saix had nightmares, and he had forgotten just how horrible they could be.

As Xemnas calmed him with kisses and gentle touches, Saix decided not to tell him how much the Superior's presence – solid, warm, and _**alive –**_ soothed the desperate fear he had awoken with.

**14. Next Time – Stroke 9**

The last time, they didn't say anything. Afterwards, Xemnas simply held Saix close and breathed in his scent, trying to memorize everything about this moment.

Slowly, Saix pulled away and dressed in silence. Before he entered the portal of darkness, he glanced back, once, and then quickly looked away again and left.

This time it was Xemnas who curled up and glared at the moon, wondering when the horrible emptiness inside him would be filled.

**15. Sleepwalker – Adam Lambert**

During the short time between Saix's death and his own showdown with the Keyblade wielder, Xemnas was in a fog. He simply wandered around the Castle, or stared up at Kingdom Hearts and waited for Sora to come.

Somehow, he found himself in Saix's room. Dully, he looked around, then slowly walked to the bed and laid down on it. Saix's scent lingered on the sheets.

Xemnas pressed his face into the pillow. He thought of Saix, and wondered at the wetness on his cheeks.

**16. Breath – Breaking Benjamin**

When he turned to face the Keybearer, Xemnas thought briefly of Roxas, and felt just a faint shadow of regret. Then he thought once again of Saix, and in his mind, something snapped.

In that instant, he realized that he did remember what it was like to have a heart, after all.

After the battle, it took Xemnas a few seconds to realize that he was dying. Instead of anger or disbelief, or anything else he'd expected to feel when someone killed him, he was overcome by a strange, weary sense of relief.

Saix's face flitted once more through his mind.

The darkness enveloped him.

**17. In Another Life – Ashlee Simpson**

The first time, Xemnas thought he should take it slow. Sure, Saix was just a guy he'd met at a club, but there was something about him that tugged at Xemnas's memory, something that brought on a strange sense of deja-vu every time he looked at the other man's face.

Afterwards, when they were just laying there and listening to each other's heartbeat, Xemnas glanced out the window at the moon.

"It's odd," he said finally. "I know we've never met before, but for some reason, I just... I feel like I know you."

Saix followed his gaze out the window, then focused on the other man's face as Xemnas looked down at him.

The faintest trace of a smile played across Saix's lips.

"I know exactly what you mean."

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**Author's Note:** I origninally intended to end with the last night before Saix's death, but I was running out of ways to stretch out the middle. And no, I have no plausible explanation for why they were reincarnated in the end other than I like happy endings and I love that song. :p


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